FREDRIK SCHEIKE

Oskiljaktligen gör döden ingen skillnad på oss,                 men ändå skiljer den oss åt. Likgiltig, rädd, tacksam,   befriad, fängslad, road,                döden skiljer sig för oss alla,             och döden skiljer oss åt. Gammal dikt från 2011.

You are not restricted, limited or bound by your past. You are, today, completely free of your past. That's what Saturday's (although I recovered it today) central thought for my meditation was. Now what does that mean? What does "being free of your past" actually mean? As I was meditating, I of course kept reciting the mantra to keep my mind focused, but I've also learned that you accept the thoughts that pop into your head, because if you actively ignore them they will only grow stronger. So I felt sadness and I almost started crying when thoughts of my past came into my mind. Why is that? I don't really know.  I've always believed that your past is what defines where you are right now which in term means that you are a product of it, not that it holds you captive. Your present day and moment are all products of what choices you've made in the past. Everything, no matter how small or big has lead you to this moment and all your choices a...

I don't know. I wanted to write something with meaning, and I wanted to write something constructive and personal and something that could touch and be reflected upon, but instead I have an enormous block. I guess I don't really recognize myself at times. Maybe the time of blogging for me is over and the time of diaries has just begun. I was gifted a beatuifully hand painted text book that I take with me almost everywhere I go and in that I've been writing both stories and tiny observations in the past couple of weeks. It's great to invent and make up stories and have the opportunity to just put it down as soon as it pops up. One of the reasons why I wanted to write today is because I woke up from a "nightmare", well let's just call it a lightmare, because it wasn't as if I, or anyone I know, was dying or chased or anything like that. I was in the middle of an exam, and everybody was there and I mean everybody. Teachers, friends and family...