FREDRIK SCHEIKE

So, one of the major things in Spain in this moment are the upcoming presidential elections, on the 20th of December, and what kind of "blogger" would I be if I didn't have my two cents about absolutely everything? Not to diminish neither my own opinion, my right to express it or the importance of politics of course. As I don't have my voting card and I'm not sure how I would go about acquiring one should I be allowed to have one, the best way to participate in these elections is to inform myself of the various options that are out there. On one side of the scale you have a bunch of smaller left wing parties, syndicalists, communists, workers unions and the united left. We move further on the scale and we find bigger parties like the sensation Podemos and the older social democrat PSOE. Moving right along, the scale tips towards the blue PP, the even more extreme right Ciudadanos and out towards the brown, and darker, parties. It's a really dauntingl

I think this thing of the lists, which BuzzFeed in America, Newsner/Aftonbladet in Sweden and a bunch of other sites have grown crazy big on is something that we've grown so accustomed to in today's world of internet that we barely react anymore. It's anything from the "10 things puppies would be if they were foods" to celebrity bullshit to beautiful, unknown places for you to travel to when you trek the world. But I came across one today, one that I actually don't mind sharing due to the realness of what it said; "15 things you can do when you feel like shit." The pursuit and the constant need to feel happy, the stress to not let anything get to you in today's society is killing us slowly. If we're not allowed to feel bad, then how can we contrast that to when we feel good? How can we have one without the other? With a completely blissfully happy world, we're incredible close to getting into the happy dystopia-land of Aldous Huxley

I felt the infinite wind, killing me with every gust and gale, the torment of a million spikes, ripping at my every inch   at my very being. As I stood there, Facing my eternity, the pieces fell together, I in unison; discarded rosepetals I peddle for pocket change,    I wish you knew me before. the wind grows stronger, but we have to stand tall, an avenue is an avenue because someone named it so, when my mind is gone,     my flesh remains. I fear because I've felt, and now I feel because I've feared. We must wrap humanity in gauze, she's bled for too long. it's all we've ever felt, this infinite wind. Fredrik Scheike, 20/11/2015

och jag smakade livets sötma   läppjade bägaren med vetskapen om till vilken grad jag skulle bli beroende sockersöta toppar och dalar    det jag inte visste var var vi var på väg. inget säkert avstånd och allt eller inget, på ett nummer      på miljonen det är det vackra med oss, att tärningen försätts i snurr, långt efter vinstnumret dragits kombination av självironi och distans,     med ett rejält mått egoism för alla vill väl lyssna på mig. det finns inget eller, eller hellre alltid både och, allt OCH inget, bättre än Palle Kuling vid fem års ålder är läxan som smakar bittert    men lämnar dig med sötmans ångor av med hatten! bocka och buga livet mästrar och lär     särskilt när vi öppnar oss       och lyssnar så oavsett om du finner din tröst, i sport, i botten på glaset, i piller        eller snö lovar jag att svaren exponentiellt ökar antalet frågor men smaka sockret som bjuds   och koppla av, låt sinnena sköta resten.

Puh. Yesterday was a tough day to be honest. I started the morning learning about the horrible things that had happened in Paris just the night before and my social media feeds were all going bonkers. And no wonder, such an inhumane and cruel attack rightfully should cause a stir. But more on that later. I then, when I was finally alone in the house decided to do my meditation, before going in to put rehearsal. Yesterday's meditation was a fascinating one where I ended up "confusing" or rephrasing the centering thought. The original one read, "I release myself from obstacles and boundaries " but I ended up with "I release myself from restrictions and limitations" similar, but not the same. The meditation itself was okay, I couldn't really relax on the cold stone floor, but the centering thought that I constructed stayed with me for the remainder of the day. Later in rehearsal, things went to shit for me. I didn't feel true or alive in any

This is the second bundle of the week, and of the blog in general. And this time because all of the meditations up until today have been really, really powerful in terms of how they've left me. Especially powerful was days 8-10 where the focus has shifted, on how to turn beliefs into actions, and how to make a cohesent set of core beliefs available to you. What are these beliefs that everyone should carry with them, which everybody should build their persona upon? I'm loving and loveable I'm worthy I'm safe and trusting I'm fulfilled and whole Which sounds like it might be a piece of cake, and it should be. But life comes in between, and experiences filter themselves into what you build your identity upon. They, unfortunately, manifest themselves deeper than we might think, and we can often feel tempted to add a "but" or an "or" to what should be our core beliefs. "I'm loveable but I don't deserve to be loved" is an exa

Back when I was living in New York, I had one of the best teachers one could ever have. Upon leaving his advanced class to go live in Los Angeles we were in class doing "Spoon River Anthology"-poems. One of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had of poetry. With the technique he was teaching, the poems jumped off the page and became alive. His favorite, which I was honored to be given the incredibly hard task of performing, was titled Fiddler Jones . Yesterday before starting rehearsal of our new play that we're premiering at the end of the month, good ol' Fiddler popped into my brain, but I could only remember parts of it, so I had to look it up. I will learn it once more, because this is a piece I want to keep at heart, always: The earth keeps some vibration going There in your heart, and that is you. And if the people find you can fiddle, Why, fiddle you must, for all your life. What do you see, a harvest of clover? Or a meadow to walk through to the

A bundle together of the mediations that I did over last weekend, simply because my computer broke down and I don't really feel comfortable writing on someone else's. And also because they weren't really fruitful finally. We, in normal fashion, spent the weekend in Naval because of work and by being out of my normal meditational environment I felt a little off, which affected how deep and how concentrated I could get. I was constantly focused on sounds or thoughts kept popping in like "what if they think I'm weird or in their way?" - which are funny thoughts when you're meditating on your own self-worth and what you believe that you, yourself deserve. Repeating the mantras felt weird and I felt out of place. I didn't do much contemplation afterwards either, when maybe, those are the moments where I should do it the most. As I'm headed there tonight as well, just for one night, but still, we'll see if this weekend proves more fruitful in t

I remember putting this little baby together. It was probably around five years ago, before I moved to New York or Los Angeles or Madrid. Before I became the person that I am today. I looked over my then enormous collection of music, and being frustrated with how many times I fucked up a "normal" mix. Something always went wrong when I synced BPM on a bouncing techno-track, or I forgot some sound that came at the end of a big house-banger just when I smoothly was gliding over to the next one. I wanted to experiment with sounds and different styles of music and a friend, that I made over a forum (even longer time ago than five years) had released a mix to relax to. I had already become fascinated with the incredible world of sound that is as vast as anything. Another friend got me hooked on Sigúr Rós and I devoured the magical soundtrack of "Ghost in the Shell" by Kenji Kawai. So I decided to try this type of music out for myself. And this is the little relaxin

I was on set yesterday, for the entire day, and I didn't have my computer with me to do yesterday's meditation, so today's going to be a little back to back. Nor, looking back on it, did I have any sort of time to do the full 20 minutes yesterday, nor did I have internet, so all in all, I did it this morning. Today's centering thought was; "My true self can be trusted to lead me" and the mantra for the day can be loosely translated into; "My actions and desires are supported by cosmic intelligence" which would be a mouthful to repeat, but apparently it was condensed into three little, vowel-filled words. That's why I say "loosely" translated, because I really doubt that the literal meaning is what you're repeating. Today I found it really easy to slip into meditation mode. I was easily fully relaxed and with a couple of breaths the world of introspection began to open itself up. Even though relaxed, I had to fight my right eye f

Having published the other post at exactly 00:00, what is day 1 and day 2 gently bleeds in to one another. Like they normally do, of course, but it just became so visual with the fortunate hour of publishing. Day 2 of the Meditation experience offers the centering thought of; "What I believe makes me who I am" which is a thought that I can now, as I meditated early this morning, carry with me and contemplate all day. The mantra for today is loosely translated to "I am" , which in Sanskrit resonated deeply as I repeated it. I mean this, that when I went deeper in my relaxation, my breath changed and with the change of my breath inevitably the voice and the way it resonates inside my instrument changes. Using round sounds like "oh" and "M" sounds really reaches down inside the body and I felt a vocal support from my tailbone all the way through the fibers of my muscles in my rib cage. A powerful feeling, which is of course a brilliantly s

I just started my third Meditation Experience, well, the first one that I actually do on time, and with the full intention of doing every day and boy was today a challenge. The centering thought for the day is; "My beliefs enhance my life". With a sanskrit mantra loosely translated to; "I am absolute existence". Sitting in our dark bedroom, it was easy to relax, but still I struggled. It's like a muscle that you have to workout, or some meditations are simply more powerful than others, in terms of what they awake in you. I felt my mind drifting a little bit, and found myself worrying about both time and the fact that I was occupying the only route to go the bathroom. Which later turned out to be true, I had been an obstacle, it's strange how much you can feel from a distance. I found my mind drifting to New York, memories of people and places, I found myself looking at an Instagram picture, mentally of course, of a beautiful space that one of my fri

Once in a while, an album drops that just sucks you in to the magical world of sound it has created. I've had a bunch of album "crushes" over the year in a bunch of varied styles and genres. I've been a metal head at times, a hiphoper, a psychadelic raver, a pop:er and a reggae aficionado, all in the name of good , well-produced music. This time I just need to recommend "Indians & Cowboys" by the Danish duo (trio) Den Sorte Skole. It's their latest album and it dropped a little less than a week ago and I can't get enough. It's a musical journey where the two have just done the biggest archaeological dig through the crates possible. A mind-blowing number of samples from the past 60-70 years of music. They're no strangers to digging as their previous albums Lektion 1-3, have been equally well researched. But this album, for some reason or other, just sticks out to me. "Indians & Cowboys" opens up with cowbells (WE NEED M

Hola, olé and all that good stuff! I recently stumbled upon an old video that I had privately shared on YouTube, from one of our performances in class and decided to have a look, and a think. The scene itself was pretty well executed and I could really see that I enjoyed acting in it. It's definitely one of my favorite plays "Angels in America" and the writing is so powerful that the words literally crawl from the page, begging to be acted. But what really stood out to me is that we must never stop learning. As actors obviously, but as humans as well. If we stop to be curious about the world and stop wanting to learn more about all the wonderful things in it, we might as well just lie down and die. If we believe that our brain is finite and we put limits on ourselves, we bind ourselves to being content with the life we have. And I'm not saying be miserable, I'm saying strive and be hungry. What you have is beautiful, a beautiful opportunity to le

A cool little tab just popped up, right around ^ there. Or even ^ like there? Anyways, I guess you'll notice that something is different. Yup, I collected all of my written material, at least my poetry, into a neat little tab! Not that it makes much difference from just pressing the label, but it looks cooler. I'll make a longer post in a little while! Don't be a stranger! Loves

I know I'm probably bound to grind someone's gears, but so be it because I decided to check out The Godfather Part 2 over the weekend, which has most certainly been a long time coming. And can I just say, wow, what a movie. The acting, the story, the shots, the details, the production. Bravo, bravo, bravo. But of course, everybody already knows that. If there was just one little flaw that I could be such a devil's advocate as to point out was the character of Hyman Roth, well, not so much the character, but the fact that I didn't believe a single thing coming out of the person's mouth. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, there was just something so artificial about the delivery that made it feel like it wasn't "in tone" with the film. Even though "bad guys" are bad, you're supposed to have some sort of empathy with them, but for me, it was the only character that I couldn't connect to. And then I looked at the cr

Just wanted to drop the link to my Acting reel here. Would be frigging amazing if you looked at it, dropped a comment/like and helped me to propel my career forward. (And also help me become the number 1 video when you search for "Scheike" (and not my unfortunate and unrelated namesake) on YouTube.) I appreciate the support! The 2015 edition will be cut together shortly! Don't be a stranger! Loves

PHEW! Compiling everything, and making sure everything is up to date is a CHORE! Well, anywho, to begin with, I've now merged my two old blogs, "fredriks swärje" and "the deeper end" into this blog. Just to have a more centralized view of everything I've ever thought necessary to publish. I've also updated my profiles all over my social networks and in the margin to the right ---> you can now find a compiled list of where you can find me in the crazy tangle of information. Hit me up on one, or all of the networks listed! I'm trying my best to keep everything up to date! Don't be a stranger! Loves

I can't remember writing about this before, but I know for a fact that I've talked to a multitude of people about it, because I find it really interesting, and definitely one of the most beautiful pieces of poetry/theatre ever written. Macbeth, or the Scottish play, by Shakespeare, is probably the only one of his plays that I've read, front to back, without being able to put it down. It captured me from the beginning and I could not stop. Everything spoke to me, I didn't even need to look up words because it just made sense. The reason I read it in the first place was because of an assignment in school where we had been given an extract from one of the title person's monologues. And it went like this: " To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a

Feeling at home. Feeling at ease. Where is the place where you relax and feel most comfortable? I've been able to put "my tent pole" down in various countries, different continents and in a multitude of cities. And I've left a little piece of my heart in every single place. The memories one create, the connections and habits that form part of your every day life in a new place also form part of who you are as a person. Isn't it strange and beautiful at the same time that one can travel and far away from what is known from the beginning, and still feel so at home? My longer travels abroad from Sweden started at the age of 17 when I went to live a whole scholarly year in France, then when I was 20 I moved to London for a period of 6 months. After that, I spent 9-10 months in Vancouver and later a whole year in New York and 2 in Los Angeles. And now I've completed my first year in Madrid, Spain. I arrived one week and a year ago. Incredible. I st

"Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed, The dear repose for limbs with travel tired; But then begins a journey in my head To work my mind, when body's work's expired: For then my thoughts--from far where I abide-- Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee, And keep my drooping eyelids open wide, Looking on darkness which the blind do see: Save that my soul's imaginary sight Presents thy shadow to my sightless view, Which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night, Makes black night beauteous, and her old face new.     Lo! thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind,     For thee, and for myself, no quiet find."   One of my favorite of the multitude of Shakespeare's Sonnets, this is number 27. As in Sonnet 27, not my 27th favorite. It was given to me in class in a moment, and I've remembered it ever since. One could remember worse things, that's for sure, but sure is that this sonnet marked me. I also leave you with one of the most beautiful songs I'

I feel really good that I've been really getting into writing lately. It's always been a huge part of my life and I've loved to put down words on pages. Not only with the blog, but I'm also currently motivated with a project that we're going to shoot in September. It's a script, based on a play that N wrote a bunch of years ago. It started out as a pure adaptation, but has more and more evolved into it's own little thing, based on what she has written. But by no means taking away from her idea and her originality. I've already had one meeting with a person that I really get along great with who I want on board as an assistant director. Since I will be writing, directing, acting and producing I really need some help, and I only want N and the other actors to be acting. It's a true challenge for me since, scatterbrain-me, normally is all over the place. In between yesterday and today I've already finished a second and a third revision and

How do we declutter our thoughts? How do we form a concrete line of thought for ourselves and for others? Lately my thoughts have been all over the place and it's beyond frustrating, first of all for myself to try to make any kind of sense of what's really going on in there. I've never been much of a concrete person myself, but this is beyond me. I'm thinking about ideas, I'm thinking about life, I'm thinking about me, I'm thinking about scripts, projects, stories, poetry, paintings, art, life again.. You know, just "those little things". Everything, since May probably, has been given a slight edge. When I realized I had to deal with the apartment I have in Sweden it's been a journey in my head like no other. I've always known that I would HAVE to deal with at some point, but then, to actually do it, turned out to be a whole different ballgame. What it would entail, I always knew, but now it's actually going to happen. I

My head is a clutter, a clusterfuck if you will, and I need to let my thoughts breathe. I need to put them on paper or at least get them out so that I can fill it up with more necessary information, and at the same time take pride in both writing them and expressing and sharing an opinion. Also, I do believe that every time anyone sits down to actually write, we exercise, both our mind and our ability. I've had so many interesting conversations with people of all colors and creeds, and I've been taught lessons by masters and superiors, but also by people who perhaps unknowingly didn't understand the impact of what they say. One tidbit of this, which I always remember, which I happened to bring up in a conversation just a little over a month ago was something that I've been told ever since I started acting professionally, by almost all my teachers, no matter where in the world. "If you can see yourself being something else than an actor, then do it."

This is going to be a long night, it really is. We were scheduled to shoot from 20:00 to 8:00, but I had to arrive at 00:45 because I was working in the performance "Atrapada en la Red" where N is starring. It's an incredible one woman show that leaves me completely blown away, every time I see it. Not a lot of things do that to me, less so actors and plays, but she does something magical on stage that I wish the whole world could see. It will, in time. Anyway, I arrived here and got through makeup, wardrobe and hair really quickly, and now we're waiting. This is what "#setlife" is like. Waiting, waiting and more waiting - keeping the concentration and energy up no matter what hour of the day it is. We don't get paid for learning lines or being on set, what they're really paying us to do is to be patient. Well, to be completely honest, this project doesn't even pay me as it is our final project in school. It's a really interesting story a

At long last I've found my way back to my blog. It's interesting and kind of surreal going back and reading all my thoughts that I for some, or other reason, thought it important to express. I did a huge overhaul and laughed, reflected and often wondered at what I had written. Not wondered like, "OH MY, I WRITE SO WELL", but the other type of wonderment. So how is life in this very moment? Extremely interesting. As always, no? There are honestly no dull moments in life, it's just a matter of how you choose to fill them. Since last time I wrote, things have really been changing. I mean, 2013 till 2015, who couldn't and wouldn't expect it? Last year I took the decision to move to Madrid and N. To leave school and what I called and had made as a home in Los Angeles. It was a series of decisions and reasons that eventually made it self evident that this would be the next step in my life, so I "metaphorically" jumped. We've been living