FREDRIK SCHEIKE

Det regnar ett stilla regn utomhus, mörkret har lagt sig för längesen och jag hör själv hur jag andas allt långsammare. Stilla knäpper fingrarna mot det mekaniska tangentbordet när stormen tilltar och mina nya lakan frasar i otakt med regnet som nu fullkomligt öser ner. Tankarna är luddiga, tankarna är trötta och hjärnan verkar återigen sväva ut i det förflutna och jag vet inte om jag ligger i mitt pojkrum på Ärtvägen och tittar ut genom fönstret från min våningssäng, om jag känner doften av nymanglade lakan med mormor i Upplands Väsbys tvättstuga eller om jag hör plåttaket på baksidan i Bjursås som täcker verktyg, färg och fernissa. Oavsett vad, jag är här - och där, samtidigt.

I'm not dead, I'm just sleepy! Or something. As a matter of fact I've been pretty preoccupied lately. The last couple of weeks in New York were super busy. I think I counted that I slept for 4 hours per night in between shoots, school, Mom and A visiting, rehearsals, readings and performances. It was hectic and I didn't have too much time over for my visitors, but I had a blast. And it was SOOO worth it. I graduated on the 12th of May and spent the last couple of days shooting and getting everything together. I left New York on the 17th of May to spend almost 2 months back home. And now, that time is almost up! I had barely landed and when I got driven straight off to Grandma who have been doing a little so and so over the past couple of months. But she lighted up as soon as she saw me which was a delight and a relief. I spent a little less than a week at Mom's place in Uppsala before I headed home, home to my home, Östersund. I had been promised by...

After a long day of rehearsing and preparing yesterday, me and my classmates all exploded, melted down and went abusive in a room. Because frankly, that's what the Meisner-technique really helps you do. It gets you so much more in contact with your emotions that you're just able to take anything and everything personally. You open up and you're able not only to act more fully, but to live more fully. We all got great compliments afterwards from the people that came and watched us. But also one of the greatest compliments was that people had to leave halfway through, shaking their heads. They can't handle it, that means we've touched upon something so human. Some people cried, some people were completely chocked and some people looked pale. It's not easy when it comes to real emotion, it's not! It's much easier to switch off than it is to be open and honest with what you, and others feel, isn't it? I'm currently trying the hardest...

Wow, never did I think that these last few weeks would be so absolutely smashed with stuff. I just shot my final film scene, have my Meisner-presentation tomorrow, Improv-presentation next week, I got two BIG scenes to learn for my scene study performance in three weeks - I'm also currently involved in two film thesis-projects and a full-length play of which I'm also "music director". Plus, I've written, together with a friend, a film that we want to shoot in May. I've had a hellish week where I've not been feeling good at all, with multiple panic anxiety attacks due to stress but now I've managed to calm down quite a bit. I needed to organize everything and now I believe I'm on top of the MAJOR workload that lies ahead of me. Welcome to the industry I guess, huh? In fun news, my cousin's in town this weekend - all the way up till Tuesday, my room mate leaves for two weeks on Monday, my Mom's flying in 9 days (!!) and A is soon com...

Well, I know, the last few updates I've done have been really boring. It's coming, trust me. There's just so much going on right now. I'm basically in school everyday and rehearsing every night. These last weeks are gonna be part fun, part hell. Anywho - I've finally managed to upload clips to my Vimeo page . So please check in, check out and support! CLICK HERE - OR UP THERE, IT'S THE SAME! Don't be a stranger! Loves

Not only have I been launched at "The Red Dining Room" website, but I've also finally launched my OWN for anyone who missed that! http://www.fredrikscheike.com CHECK IT OUT! I'm very happy with my design so far, but if you have any comments, please feel free to drop them to me! More "interesting", and personal stuff on the blog shortly. Don't be a stranger! Loves

Mwahahaha! It's up! The website at least, that's for one of my projects that I wrapped around 2 weeks ago. Check it out! "The Red Dining Room" - official site. Don't be a stranger! Loves

Last night was a great night. First of all we (read me and T) suited up for a post production party I had been invited to after completing "The Red Dining Room" - a comedy short. I talked with everyone and I really miss working with all those people. Talented cast, great crew and a lot of fun. I especially talked with one of the director's for quite some time - he's a 65-something man who just got into film making. He said to me that by looking and talking to me, he knows my mother. An interesting thought and probably a very true observation, I think we look and act much like our parents, no matter how hard we try (not) to, haha. Now, out to the park for shenanigans and hopefully a picnic with some of my beautiful classmates. Don't be a stranger! Loves

I tried fighting the clock this morning by waking up around 35 minutes before I had set the alarm. It didn't work trying to go back to sleep, and I realized I'd probably be more tired if I tried to sleep more when I was already pretty awake. I hate waking up before the alarm though. Today's a very exciting day - long, but exciting!

I know now what I am most afraid in life. It only took 23 years to realize it. Happiness, success and love. Because all of them demand sacrifices, vulnerability, commitment and diligence. What of those will reward me the most? All of it. Our conception of self-worth is prohibiting us so much and that too, is scary. We think we know what we're worth, but in fact we're worth so much more. Don't be a stranger! Loves

I've just started to collect all of my poems and written projects from way back when I first had the balls to publish anything I wrote. I've got tons of poems in Swedish, French and English, I got a surprising amount of songs and I've written quite a few short stories in my days. I really like looking back on everything I've done and in that way, "time travel". I know it may perceived as cocky to say, but some of the stuff that I've written is actually really, really good. Now begins my next project, not only collecting them all on my computer, but actually writing them down in my little black book. It's going to be a lot of work, but a lot of fun! Not saying that I've given up writing new stuff, don't get me wrong, I think just since moving here, I've written at least 50 poems and 5 scripts, one a full length movie. I'm just saying that I really enjoying looking back in time. It's nice to know where you've started out, wher...

I'm working on a completely new website, I don't know when it will be up, hopefully shortly. Its address will be www.fredrikscheike.com and will have a direct link to this blog so don't be surprised if one day you'll see a completely new look and no blog on the first page! Don't be a stranger! Loves

Something happened today, something big honestly and I couldn't be happier really. One of my teacher's told me something so big, so enormously huge and wise that I was so humbled I started to cry. It figuratively broke my heart in half and it's both what I've needed to hear for some time and what is going to propel me forward for the rest of my life.