Something Happened Today

Something happened today, something big honestly and I couldn't be happier really.

One of my teacher's told me something so big, so enormously huge and wise that I was so humbled I started to cry. It figuratively broke my heart in half and it's both what I've needed to hear for some time and what is going to propel me forward for the rest of my life.

I came to New York in February last year, because of a weird Monday morning craving, a sort of hormone induced, self-indulgent wish. I had been having cravings for quite some time before that, cupcakes, caviar, tacos and whatnot - people were asking me if I was pregnant after awhile..

But the wish grew stronger and my trip to New York changed everything. When I came back, I had an opportunity to follow a dream I since long trampled.

After moving here in August, things have been back and forth, I'll admit it. I've been doubting myself, I've been doubting my conviction and my talent and it's been living hell one day and it's been glorious the next. It's been because of multiple things and even though I reluctantly admit it, that self doubt was what propelled me into semi-alocholism during the holidays. It was sad, but sadly a phase I had to go through. It was long before December that I had planted seeds of dropping out into my mind - but the month didn't help at all.

Today one of teacher's actually lifted one of the major burdens off of me and the feeling of sudden lightness and understanding humbled me to tears. Pompous words I know.

A lot of our teacher's have told us at the end of their term with us, the end of semester, or otherwise at the end of class that the entire class is very talented and that they all see us as possible working actors in the future. So this is the first time someone gave me personal feedback.

"You have a very talented class Fred, you really do. A lot of great kids, but you... you're something else, you're my special case. And I mean that in the best way possible.. Your generosity towards this class and other people is amazing and I'm honored to have you as my student in this class. I'll help you pick a scene for your final presentation, because I believe, that when we screen it for the agents, casting directors and producers, that's the thing that will get you signed with an agency immediately. You're fantastic and it's a pleasure working with you."

Thank you.

Don't be a stranger! Loves