Reflections

I had a blog post, a long, well thought out, personal post brimming with "in-the-spur-of-the-moment" writing, that I wrote just a couple of weeks ago while on the bus while heading out to work.

And as I opened up the draft on my computer just now, to correct and to actually publish. It all had disappeared and I have NO clue what it was actually about. The hint just being the somewhat ambiguous title "Reflections". I don't know what happened but I guess that somehow, the blogger-app on which I was writing was not connected to the internet when trying to upload and save the draft, so it just got lost in the eternal limbo in between.

Typical. When I for once, sit down and have something to say and to write about, it just evaporates into the ether. Not that my semi-intelligent blurs on the blog is something that upholds world-peace or even affects a large number of people, but for some reason the loss of some intellectual property, something written and thought out is just frustrating. Because I write for no other thought audience than myself.

Well. Another post that I apparently had saved a long time ago was called "Writing for the sake of writing", so I guess the irony is on me, because nothing serves writing more than just practice.

For a long time all I've written has been poetry, or my version of it, and I haven't even been able to write that much. I started reading "Just Kids" by Patti Smith and as I'm completely hooked I've been on like a poetry bender recently. Finished reading two collections of two Swedish poets and started experimenting with forms myself. All the while combining reading and writing. 

But I've been blocked, and that's frustrating. 

I did an "unblocking" exercise yesterday that we were taught in Meisner. "Free writing", which is literally; put the pen on the paper, start writing and don't stop until you've run out of steam. It doesn't matter what comes out, mine always end up in garbles, but something is expressed through that as well. And most of all, it's freeing. I realize I have a clutter brain and these past two weeks I have not been able to focus on anything or really been able to visualize any kind of personal goals. I need to work on my concentration skills, I need to tell myself to put my mind to it, and don't stop.

That's why yesterday, when I stopped the free-writing exercise, I was really happy to start writing a new play. I've never written one entirely, but let it be a goal this year and let nothing stop me. I've been talking about an adaptation, because of a vision I have, for Strindberg's "The Ghost Sonnet", but the way the characters presented themselves on paper slowly turned out to be something unique and inspired by it instead of a direct adaptation.

So there, I said it and I set it. I have a new goal for this year. I'm going to finish writing this play and then we'll see where the fruits of this labour takes me. Also I really want to shoot the short film, but right now, it's on hold for reasons outside of my control.

So, don't be a stranger! Loves