Who are you?

So what happens when we lose track of who we are? What's our true identity, where is our true self anchored and how does it all tie into creativity?

In the assumption of various characters that we play during our everyday life we tend to reflect parts of us that correspond to the certain prerequisite of that part. Meaning, we choose in which moments, which parts of us, we deem appropriate to share with the world. It's not appropriate to go to a business meeting in slacks and call your boss a loser, it's not appropriate to do this, say that and the other. It's the fragmented way that's the societal way.

But when and where do niceties, politeness, manners and the will to be appropriate end and where is there a room to explore who we, under all the layers that we've accumulated, really are?

It's all just a bunch of semi-philosophical thoughts running around my head, because lately I've been feeling shattered. Shattered into small, not to say tiny little pieces, with no real grasp on where and who and what I am. I've felt a lot of confusion as of late and it's not just because of the roles I get paid to play, but the roles that I actually play. The fact that I'm writing in English, and not in Swedish, really stood out to me the other day when I started to sketch the outlines of a text. I felt a disconnection and I don't know how to explain it or get rid of that awful feeling. I felt lost in my identities and I couldn't arrive to form a sentence to be proud of for the life of me. I felt blocked in my writing, in my poetry and in my acting. I felt like I was just a hollow shell of all the social layers that we use to define us in society. I felt, and I still feel like there's a true someone underneath it all.

I believe that true creational force stems from the center of our being. It's a force that we can't stop for anything because we must draw from a source that is so much bigger than what society makes us out to believe that we can be. I believe that real power, in words, on stage, in front of the camera comes from just that place. Because it's a way to show people that it's okay to be who they are, it's okay to feel and to connect and to do what ever it is we want to do. And I know that when I have written some of what I consider my best work, I've tapped into that creative self and just let it overtake me. It's not about any thing else than leaving yourself alone, so that you, your true you, is actually welcomed out.

I hate being blocked, but writing about being blocked in some ways unblock me, because I deal with a reality of why, what, where and when. I deal with me, without all that I have created to be me.

Confusion and out. Time to keep reading. Because really interesting questions create a million and one more interesting questions.

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