"Tinderest", Reedsy Prompt Story
”You know what? I’m done, I just can’t. I know it’s last minute Jake, but I just can’t. Now I know what you’re going to say, your parents made arrangements months ago, you’re all hype, and I get it. But what about me? Did you really think I wanted to go? Did you ever ask me if I wanted to? Or did you just assume, because ”that’s what couples do” when they’re in love?”, she could cut through the silence with a razor. There was not a fly that dared disturb her. She gave a long blank stare, she felt powerful and powerless at the same time. Moments passed, seconds, minutes, what felt like hours but were probably just a couple of blinks of an eye, and then she sank her forehead into her palms.
”I can’t do it, I can’t do it”, she sobbed, ”what is wrong with me? I thought this would be the happiest that I’ve ever been, the happiest that I’d ever be, but I’m a wreck. I-”, she started looking for a tissue in her pockets as tears welled up. Her left pocket had a ball of lint and some change, a quarter and a couple of dimes, from the late deli-lunch before. Her right pocket told a different story. Her wedding-band and her engagement ring with a six carat round diamond in a pristine condition, both looking like they had never been worn to begin with, tucked in to a tiny monogrammed silk handkerchief. She reached into her bag instead and pulled out a pack of tissues.
She had thought about this moment for quite some time. The emotions dwelled on her right after the first week and grew and grew during their dreadful honeymoon. Jake had wanted them to do something special so they whisked of to Malaysia for a scuba-diving adventure. She was terrified of bodies of water, especially large ones, and especially if one was to say, not see the bottom of them. It was a fear that she had had for as long as she could remember and it wasn’t because her parents had thrown her into the deep end of the family pool for her to learn how to swim. And it wasn’t because she had had her head dunked in the girls bathroom every day in junior high. And it most definitely wasn’t because she had witnessed her best friend Julie drown at the age of eight because she had been stung by a box-jellyfish while on joint family vacation. It was something more primal, she was sure of it.
He should’ve known though, was her pre-dominant feeling. It was never spoken about, nor had she ever expressed that fear to anyone besides that silly shrink that her parents insisted on after their less than amicable divorce. She had felt nothing, and that was her honest to god truth, the arguments never affected her, being shuttled back and forth felt like a breeze, and the continuous gifts from her dad’s girlfriends was simply something she felt like she deserved. Isn’t that what true love is all about? Not the gifts, but the knowing part? If he doesn’t know what you like or dislike without you having to tell him, is it even love? If he’s not predisposed to cater to your every need, at all times, and just simply, simply connect, like telekinecticapathy, or something, can you even call him your soulmate?, she thought, as she was blowing her sadness out of her nostrils.
But all of that was besides the point, because maybe it wasn’t even the honeymoon, maybe it was the wedding itself, this mundane, seven hundred people,- white doves-, string quartet-, mansion-in-the-Alpes-story. Maybe it was the wedding that wasn’t half of what she had expected. Sure, the surroundings had been nice, and you could not have asked for a better weather, this was all well and good, but the catering had been awful and that her friends were not all there was something she could not forget. But, she guessed, maybe the fact that they couldn’t afford the envelope-fee of a mere five hundred Swiss franc per person, maybe that was not all to blame Jake for. He had tried. She blew out her second nostril.
She looked up, fidgeted a little with the tiny package of rings in her pocket, looked down on the table and scoffed. The nerve. If feelings were butter, her anger and scolding attitude was a hellishly burnt, recently forged, scimitar. The tickets were there, inside the envelope. She hadn’t opened it, but she knew, because he had told him. She guessed that with all the mystery surrounding the trip, which she knew her parents-in-law knew all about, it couldn’t be anything but a flop. A sad little, pathetic, attempt to try and win her back as he surely had noticed how she was slipping away from him. But to be bought with tickets, again to some farfetched, unexplored, humanly untouched paradise island, or whatever, she just couldn’t. Besides, she hated surprises, and that’s something that she almost definitely maybe sometime had shared with Jake too. As she was in touch with her ur-woman, she knew that this fear was again primal and stemmed from the fact that some of her troglodyte ancestors were eaten alive by a saber-tooth while out hunting. Talk about a bad surprise. And no wonder. Surprises were definitely not for her.
She started at him for the longest period of time. He barely looked back. She kept her stare fixated on his chin and his eyes as she was looking. not only, for understanding what might come out of his mouth, but also, for his intention.
”I feel like you take me for granted, or worse, that you think I’m some kind of object, thing or prize you can win, but-”, she had to halt, was she then not a prize in a sense? Was she not an apex-woman? Of course she was, who else could she be? She pushed the envelope over the table. She pushed it a little further, surely he would grab it.
”Take it.”, she wasn’t asking.
”Take it back.”, she pushed it as far as she could reach.
”Just pick up the damn envelope!”, she jumped at it and tore it into a million pieces.
”Look what you made me do!”, the threw the piece off the table, no more fun and games. Finally it seemed to have some effect on him and it looked like he was about to speak.
”I’m afraid the decision has already been made. Miss Kubitz, you have to stay with us for at least another two weeks and there’s really nothing else I can do.”
Doctor Sherman had just signaled the two male nurses to restrain her, as she tried to lunge forward and stab him with a chewed up pencil. She screamed as they pulled her to her feet and as one held her, the other gave her a sedative and she quickly calmed down.
”What a day, Doc.”, said Jake, the nurse who had just gave her a shot.
”What a year, Jake”, said Doctor Sherman and closed Linda Kubitz journal, ”what a year..”
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