Auditions

Sometimes when you audition you really don't want to, sometimes when you audition you're really nervous both before and after. Sometimes when you audition you really don't care and sometimes when you audition you really want the part.

This audition that I did today resulted in neither of the above.

I spent an entire day on my spring break researching roles and applying for them on sites like Backstage.com, Letitcast.com and Actorsaccess.com. And on Friday, I got an email saying that I had at least booked an audition for one of the parts. Far out in Brooklyn, at the end of the 2 and 5 line and it seemed a little dodgy at first, but the email came from the associate professor of the class so it made all the more legitimate.

I of course RSVP:ed saying that I would love to be a part of any of their projects and that I was happy they had selected me.

So today was D-day, or A-day maybe. I was excited, but not really. I was spending some beautiful time in the park out in the sun and I was really enjoying my time as the hour crept closer. I mean, I haven't really auditioned for anything outside of NYFA yet, so I'll admit I was probably a little reluctant because of that too. I of course decided to go - let no opportunity go to waste - besides it was an improv-audition which I've never done before, so it was definitely another experience I wanted to have.

I got out to Brooklyn and had about half an hour to find the building and room in where I was supposed to audition. The map the teacher sent me showed a massive complex and I knew I would need some time to find everything alright. The campus itself was BEAUTIFUL. A real classical American college, one of those you really picture - the ones you see in movies and as the sun set on people sitting in the courtyard grass, my heart skipped a beat. It was a beautiful picture. People throwing footballs, people sitting in circles, people waving and smiling to their friends, the sun setting and rolled up sleeves and shorts. Everywhere. Like college should be.

I arrived on "set" and I introduce myself to a bunch of people and I meet with the teacher who takes me aside to talk to me about how things are going to happen. We were given a setting, a relationship, an activity and a back story. I was married to this woman I've never met before - and people ask me why I love acting. To prepare I sat outside and I free-wrote for about 10 minutes to get into character and I believe it really worked.

Once the audition started both me and the audience were taken for a ride. My fellow actress, M, was AMAZING. I really enjoyed improvising with her and I felt like we clicked into our roles perfectly. She even more so than I. But she made me look better and I really, REALLY, felt inspired afterwards.

That's why it's like nothing I've ever experienced before - I don't care if I get the part or not. I mean, I would love to, otherwise I wouldn't have auditioned, but most importantly, I felt inspired by M. She showed me exactly where I want to be, and where I need to push myself to be. I never felt inferior to her, but uplifted by her talent. If I don't get it, whatever - if SHE doesn't get it, something's fucked up (excuse the language, but don't).

Don't be a stranger! Loves