FREDRIK SCHEIKE

I felt the infinite wind, killing me with every gust and gale, the torment of a million spikes, ripping at my every inch   at my very being. As I stood there, Facing my eternity, the pieces fell together, I in unison; discarded rosepetals I peddle for pocket change,    I wish you knew me before. the wind grows stronger, but we have to stand tall, an avenue is an avenue because someone named it so, when my mind is gone,     my flesh remains. I fear because I've felt, and now I feel because I've feared. We must wrap humanity in gauze, she's bled for too long. it's all we've ever felt, this infinite wind. Fredrik Scheike, 20/11/2015

och jag smakade livets sötma   läppjade bägaren med vetskapen om till vilken grad jag skulle bli beroende sockersöta toppar och dalar    det jag inte visste var var vi var på väg. inget säkert avstånd och allt eller inget, på ett nummer      på miljonen det är det vackra med oss, att tärningen försätts i snurr, långt efter vinstnumret dragits kombination av självironi och distans,     med ett rejält mått egoism för alla vill väl lyssna på mig. det finns inget eller, eller hellre alltid både och, allt OCH inget, bättre än Palle Kuling vid fem års ålder är läxan som smakar bittert    men lämnar dig med sötmans ångor av med hatten! bocka och buga livet mästrar och lär     särskilt när vi öppnar oss   ...

Puh. Yesterday was a tough day to be honest. I started the morning learning about the horrible things that had happened in Paris just the night before and my social media feeds were all going bonkers. And no wonder, such an inhumane and cruel attack rightfully should cause a stir. But more on that later. I then, when I was finally alone in the house decided to do my meditation, before going in to put rehearsal. Yesterday's meditation was a fascinating one where I ended up "confusing" or rephrasing the centering thought. The original one read, "I release myself from obstacles and boundaries " but I ended up with "I release myself from restrictions and limitations" similar, but not the same. The meditation itself was okay, I couldn't really relax on the cold stone floor, but the centering thought that I constructed stayed with me for the remainder of the day. Later in rehearsal, things went to shit for me. I didn't feel true or alive in any ...

This is the second bundle of the week, and of the blog in general. And this time because all of the meditations up until today have been really, really powerful in terms of how they've left me. Especially powerful was days 8-10 where the focus has shifted, on how to turn beliefs into actions, and how to make a cohesent set of core beliefs available to you. What are these beliefs that everyone should carry with them, which everybody should build their persona upon? I'm loving and loveable I'm worthy I'm safe and trusting I'm fulfilled and whole Which sounds like it might be a piece of cake, and it should be. But life comes in between, and experiences filter themselves into what you build your identity upon. They, unfortunately, manifest themselves deeper than we might think, and we can often feel tempted to add a "but" or an "or" to what should be our core beliefs. "I'm loveable but I don't deserve to be loved" is an exa...

Back when I was living in New York, I had one of the best teachers one could ever have. Upon leaving his advanced class to go live in Los Angeles we were in class doing "Spoon River Anthology"-poems. One of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had of poetry. With the technique he was teaching, the poems jumped off the page and became alive. His favorite, which I was honored to be given the incredibly hard task of performing, was titled Fiddler Jones . Yesterday before starting rehearsal of our new play that we're premiering at the end of the month, good ol' Fiddler popped into my brain, but I could only remember parts of it, so I had to look it up. I will learn it once more, because this is a piece I want to keep at heart, always: The earth keeps some vibration going There in your heart, and that is you. And if the people find you can fiddle, Why, fiddle you must, for all your life. What do you see, a harvest of clover? Or a meadow to walk through to the...

A bundle together of the mediations that I did over last weekend, simply because my computer broke down and I don't really feel comfortable writing on someone else's. And also because they weren't really fruitful finally. We, in normal fashion, spent the weekend in Naval because of work and by being out of my normal meditational environment I felt a little off, which affected how deep and how concentrated I could get. I was constantly focused on sounds or thoughts kept popping in like "what if they think I'm weird or in their way?" - which are funny thoughts when you're meditating on your own self-worth and what you believe that you, yourself deserve. Repeating the mantras felt weird and I felt out of place. I didn't do much contemplation afterwards either, when maybe, those are the moments where I should do it the most. As I'm headed there tonight as well, just for one night, but still, we'll see if this weekend proves more fruitful in t...

I remember putting this little baby together. It was probably around five years ago, before I moved to New York or Los Angeles or Madrid. Before I became the person that I am today. I looked over my then enormous collection of music, and being frustrated with how many times I fucked up a "normal" mix. Something always went wrong when I synced BPM on a bouncing techno-track, or I forgot some sound that came at the end of a big house-banger just when I smoothly was gliding over to the next one. I wanted to experiment with sounds and different styles of music and a friend, that I made over a forum (even longer time ago than five years) had released a mix to relax to. I had already become fascinated with the incredible world of sound that is as vast as anything. Another friend got me hooked on Sigúr Rós and I devoured the magical soundtrack of "Ghost in the Shell" by Kenji Kawai. So I decided to try this type of music out for myself. And this is the little relaxin...

I was on set yesterday, for the entire day, and I didn't have my computer with me to do yesterday's meditation, so today's going to be a little back to back. Nor, looking back on it, did I have any sort of time to do the full 20 minutes yesterday, nor did I have internet, so all in all, I did it this morning. Today's centering thought was; "My true self can be trusted to lead me" and the mantra for the day can be loosely translated into; "My actions and desires are supported by cosmic intelligence" which would be a mouthful to repeat, but apparently it was condensed into three little, vowel-filled words. That's why I say "loosely" translated, because I really doubt that the literal meaning is what you're repeating. Today I found it really easy to slip into meditation mode. I was easily fully relaxed and with a couple of breaths the world of introspection began to open itself up. Even though relaxed, I had to fight my right eye f...

Having published the other post at exactly 00:00, what is day 1 and day 2 gently bleeds in to one another. Like they normally do, of course, but it just became so visual with the fortunate hour of publishing. Day 2 of the Meditation experience offers the centering thought of; "What I believe makes me who I am" which is a thought that I can now, as I meditated early this morning, carry with me and contemplate all day. The mantra for today is loosely translated to "I am" , which in Sanskrit resonated deeply as I repeated it. I mean this, that when I went deeper in my relaxation, my breath changed and with the change of my breath inevitably the voice and the way it resonates inside my instrument changes. Using round sounds like "oh" and "M" sounds really reaches down inside the body and I felt a vocal support from my tailbone all the way through the fibers of my muscles in my rib cage. A powerful feeling, which is of course a brilliantly s...

I just started my third Meditation Experience, well, the first one that I actually do on time, and with the full intention of doing every day and boy was today a challenge. The centering thought for the day is; "My beliefs enhance my life". With a sanskrit mantra loosely translated to; "I am absolute existence". Sitting in our dark bedroom, it was easy to relax, but still I struggled. It's like a muscle that you have to workout, or some meditations are simply more powerful than others, in terms of what they awake in you. I felt my mind drifting a little bit, and found myself worrying about both time and the fact that I was occupying the only route to go the bathroom. Which later turned out to be true, I had been an obstacle, it's strange how much you can feel from a distance. I found my mind drifting to New York, memories of people and places, I found myself looking at an Instagram picture, mentally of course, of a beautiful space that one of my fri...

Once in a while, an album drops that just sucks you in to the magical world of sound it has created. I've had a bunch of album "crushes" over the year in a bunch of varied styles and genres. I've been a metal head at times, a hiphoper, a psychadelic raver, a pop:er and a reggae aficionado, all in the name of good , well-produced music. This time I just need to recommend "Indians & Cowboys" by the Danish duo (trio) Den Sorte Skole. It's their latest album and it dropped a little less than a week ago and I can't get enough. It's a musical journey where the two have just done the biggest archaeological dig through the crates possible. A mind-blowing number of samples from the past 60-70 years of music. They're no strangers to digging as their previous albums Lektion 1-3, have been equally well researched. But this album, for some reason or other, just sticks out to me. "Indians & Cowboys" opens up with cowbells (WE NEED M...